Cindy Terriquez wrote a wonderful little essay on society's changing views of interracial relationships. Taking inspiration from her essay, I wish to expand upon the mushrooming phenomenon of interracial friendship and dating, the explosion in relationships across the racial divide, particularly emphasizing white women and black men. What should our response be to this unprecedented urge to merge?

Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa declared: "We are all of equal worth, born equal in dignity and born free and for this reason deserving of respect whatever our external circumstances. We belong in a world whose very structure, whose essence, is diversity almost bewildering in extent and it is to live in a fool's paradise to ignore this basic fact."

As Cindy Terriquez says in her essay, race has been an issue since the beginning of time. Our society has been overcoming in their ways of judging and stereotyping individuals based on their gender, race and social relationships. Walls have been built and the lines have been drawn in order to segregate people from mixing with different races. Socializing outside one's "group" was discouraged and forbidden in the past and has always drawn attention to those who set outside the group norms. Although precautions were taken to keep cultures from interacting, there were still those who slipped through the cracks and society has become more aware of these biracial couples.

Interracial relationships have been somewhat of a taboo for many years. In our society, people seem to fear what they do not understand. Their basic judgment would be from a peer or of ones social group and if you differed from what the group said was there norms you, were ostracized. Society's views on these relationships and the feelings that mixed couples have about their relationship are issues that will never come to one agreement. However, sociology professor, Douglas Hartmann states that his reading in this area suggests that in the last 20 or 30 years, people's attitudes have shifted away from a moral condemnation of these relationships toward a concern with the difficulties the couples would experience in the face of a racialized culture (Ickes).

What we are learning from our History

An apropos scandal to begin with, as Cindy Terriquez does, is the Sally Hemings affair of Thomas Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence and our third U.S. president. As most would not know from their text books Mr. Jefferson had secrets tucked away tight in the closet. Fawn Brodie was attacked, ridiculed, and dismissed when she came out with her intimate history of Jefferson's domestic secrets. This great American had a long running affair with a slave by the name of Sally Hemings, who was the half sister of his late wife, Martha, whom he had loved dearly. On her deathbed, Martha (perhaps selfishly) extracted from Thomas a promise that he would never remarry.

But history shows that while he managed not to remarry (in so many words) Thomas struggled, torn between his promise to Martha and his own wants and needs as a human being and as a man. For a long time he carried on quasi-romantic correspondence with various married women, including Maria Cosway and even Abigail Adams. Then, as America's ambassador in gay Paris, he sent for his daughters as well as for a handmaiden to look after them, be their governess, etc. Who this turned out to be was young Sally Hemings.

It was during his assignment in France that Jefferson and Sally began their relationship. Sally was very light complected, being three quarters white, and since slavery was outlawed in France, Sally was determined to remain there. It was with much difficulty that Jefferson persuaded her to return to Virginia with him, and she first extracted the promise from him that he would free any and all children he had by her at their reaching adulthood, and also that he would "give her time" upon his own death.

History shows that he kept both these promises. Jefferson fathered four children with Sally and that progeny has in turn gone on since then to develop a long line of descendants, some of which "became white" and some of which "became black." Despite the controversy first becoming public during his lifetime, Jefferson refused to ever address publicly the allegations presented against him. Neither confirming nor denying, he affected an air of scorn for the very rumors themselves, and his allies rallied to his defense, while his accusers, bloodied but unbowed, merely grumbled about what a later age might call his "Teflon" ability to deflect calumny.

But the evidence was too great to conceal. This story has been part of Black History since the 18th century. The recent y-chromosome confirmation of the Hemings-Jefferson relationship has also played a pivotal role in dispelling the myth of separation between Blacks and Whites. "Jefferson's literal embrace of Sally, producing children, becomes almost symbolic of what the South was," notes Orlando Patterson, a professor of Sociology at Harvard University. "What we have now is a powerful, symbolic blurring of the lines, with the most famous of the founding fathers intimately and biologically involved with his Black slave." But Jefferson was not the only and was certainly not the last.

The United States is not the only country dealing with bi-racial discrimination. According to the BBC World Service, they stated in September 2001 that Great Britain had the highest rate of interracial relationships in the western world with 40 percent of black men are married to or living with a white woman, versus only 21 percent of black women married to or living with a white man and over 50% of all black children born to one white parent. British journalist, Yasmin Alibhai-Brown, wrote a book on the complex lives of mixed race Britons. Throughout her research she interviewed white women who had been victims of racism due to being in a relationship with a black man. She believes mixed race Britons are a community which are moving out of the shadows and heading into the light, challenging existing ideologies of ethnic and national purity and staking its claim on this British nation and for far too long other people have labeled them and for the past 15 years there has been a move to always call them black, they have different backgrounds and they must have the right to define themselves.

How Society's Outlook has Changed

As recently as 1967, marrying a person of another race was illegal in at least 16 states (Hohman). Due to The Loving Decision, a ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court, which overturned the existing laws against interracial marriages, no one can send an interracially married couple to jail today (Hohman). Unfortunately, the Supreme Court cannot prevent the snide remarks and disapproving stares that these couples still encounter to this day. "Traditionalists," those who are opposed to race mixing, exist in nearly every culture in America (Hohman). These are the people who have set forth certain standards for the group, which would be considered the norms for that group, dating outside your group would be considered outside the norms. Unfortunately for them a 1998 Census survey tallied more that 1.3 million racially mixed marriages in the United States (Clemetson). As the society grows that number also increases with more and more interracial relationships. Our society is curious and is always willing to learn new things whether it be group norms or not. "Because we're a society obsessed with race, interethnic marriages they fall under a cloak of invisibility," says demographer Larry Shinagaw, "But in fact, these unions are reshaping our concept of ethnicity" (Clemetson).

While I have focused on Caucasians and Negroes, the total picture is not just black and white. In an article for the Chinese Community Forum, Xia Guang talks about the contempt of Chinese men for Chinese women who marry Caucasians. He explains that many Chinese men feel betrayed when their own women marry outside of their race, claiming that it "touches their deepest resentment" (Hohman). Ayellee Ecarma writes for the Filipino Today about the role Filipino parents play in their daughters love lives. The fathers often interrogate non-Filipino men who call for their daughters. This, in some aspects, may be seen as a father just being protective but it is not for that reason, it bears a whole other concept.

Meanwhile on the black and white front there is an undeniable feeling of competition among white women and black women for black men. Black women's resentment of intermarriage is now a staple of daytime talk shows, hit movies like Waiting to Exhale, Save the Last Dance, and Crazy Beautiful. and in various magazine articles. Black novelist, Bebe Moore Campbell, described her and her tablemates' reactions upon seeing a black actor enter a restaurant with a blonde "In unison, we moaned, we groaned, we rolled our eyes heavenward . . . Then we all shook our heads as we lamented for the 10,000th time the perfidy of black men, and cursed trespassing white women who dared to 'take our men" (Sailer, 3/26/03). Many white women are still looked down upon by white men when they choose to marry a black man. "Education and communication are our best tools for improving what some believe to be a growing problem" (Homan).

How Television Pictures Interracial Relationships

How does society see what is going on with their people? Its easy, the television plays the biggest role in our lives. Does T.V. still find this to be a taboo subject? There are no complex sociological reasons for the taboo still attached to interracial romance in movies. Perhaps these attitudes are sometimes connected to an executive's fear that audiences will be turned off by the sight of black and white together. But the secret imperative behind most of Hollywood's black and white star pairings remains: Look but don't touch (Taylor).

There are more and more shows that are beginning to experiment with interracial couples. For example, the show ER has played out a few different interracial relationships. Then there is Seinfeld and even All my Children. Throughout different programs or commercials, society constantly views black men slam-dunking, while it seems the only way an Asian man can get some coverage is to discover a cure for AIDS. Yet try channel-surfing for minority women. You'll see black women dancing, singing, joking, and romancing. If, however, you even see an Asian woman, she'll probably be newscasting -- not the most alluring of roles (Sailer, 3/26/03). These are just a few shows that depict the interracial relationships.

It is hard enough to grow up in a society with so much prejudice and pressure. Imagine being born of interracial parents who are already looked down upon. The child is viewed and characterized by society as a misfit or a mutt this. How does the child identify himself/herself? Which cultural "circle" is he/she supposed to travel in? How is he/she classified in the United States? Well, the first two questions are issues that the child alone needs to address. Everyone is different and handles situations in different ways this is what makes our society so diverse. For a bi-racial child, it is difficult to find a niche that they are comfortable in and that is socially acceptable by their group. It is a somewhat losing battle.

Many bi-racial children born in the 50's and 60's have expressed the confusion they suffered growing up and an era where they were identified as mulattos or half-breeds. They did not know how to identify themselves to society. They were embarrassed and would say they did not know what their background was, where they were from, or how they just did not want to be define in one single group. Several also stated they were are now proud of who they are and they believe that being bi-racial is an asset to them. The parents indeed had a huge involvement in the child's life at this point and also at this sensitive stage of their lives. Teaching the child both worlds, enables him/her to appreciate both cultures and be proud of who they are (PBS, 03/05/03).

The last question also poses an important issue. Nowhere in the country are bi-racial children properly represented, whether it is on census reports, federal documents, or even the health care system (Hunter). As it stands, these forms only allow a person to select one race. What happens if you're mixed? What do you pick? Do you shade more than one? Are you allowed 2 shade more than one? By the old rules, once there is a drop of black blood in a person, they are then considered to be a black child, which forces these children to dismiss their other heritage, whatever it may be (Hunter). Also, the United States Department of Health has never included multiracial people in their studies. They have studied every other ethnic group except multi and bi-racial people. This puts all multiracial individuals at risk of possible diseases that affect certain racial groups (Hunter).

Families ~ Linking

Yesterday Today Tomorrow

Conclusion

It is funny to see how life and society has changed through out the years. Back in the 80's interracial relationships were still considered unacceptable. Now-a-days it is sort of the norms. Some people of course still believe this to be a sin. But more and more it has become a way of life in our diverse society. Interracial marriages are increasingly recognized as epitomizing what our society values most in a marriage: the triumph of true love over convenience and prudence; people have come to realize that interracial relationships have been the building blocks, which make our society so diverse.

Whether you are black, white, Hispanic, Chinese, homosexual, or all of the above what you do and how you do it will be judged by society. We have explored many possibilities and the possibilities are endless for us because we never limit ourselves. Many people believe that because they are one color they must date or marry only that colored person. Now we have learned that society is not just one color and it involves many different people of many different backgrounds. We are all our own person and we are free to make our own decisions about how and who we live the rest of our lives with.

The United States is comprised of different races, cultures, and religions, which makes us "The Melting Pot". As we enter the 21st century, a growing number of Americans are showing that we all can get along, quite intimately, forming relationships and families that cross and ultimately blur those color lines (DuBois).